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Important Life Lesson #1: The Dunkaccino Has No Caffeine

March 19, 2009

There’s this amazing thing called the Dunkaccino, and you can only get it at Dunkin’ Donuts (now to be referred to as DD as a clever acronym to expedite the creation of this post.) Now, Sue and I have been attempting to turn DD into the new trendy hot spot for months–especially because of the 10% off if you have a AAA card deal.

So for $1.34 or something you can get a small Dunkaccino. There’s always the awkward moment at the cash register when Lexis (pronounced LEX-ee) (she’s our favorite) (she has gauges) asks if what size you want. The thing is that DD has cleverly manipulated the Dunkaccino prices so that you can get a small for $1.34 or a medium for $1.67. The price increase is so minuscule… yet the size increase is so worth it.

Dunkaccino is Back!

TGIB (Thank Goodness It's Back!)

My main concern over the recent days about purchasing a medium Dunkaccino was that there would be too much caffeine. Since I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier in a vain attempt to attend college without bags under my eyes, I figure eight shots of the most cappuccino-y cappuccino would not exactly be helpful. Now, let’s face it. What do you think about when you think about a Dunkaccino? Dunkin’ Donuts. Cappuccino. Very good. The Dunkaccino is actually a blend of hot chocolate and cappuccino to form the most delicious substance known to man.

Yet, today, Lexis revealed that the Dunkaccino has no caffeine. None. It is the ultimate false cognate of false cognates. It is the pseudo-synonym. It is the deceiver. The enigma.

But now we can consume it as much as we want. We will only consider Diabetes as a drawback when digesting the lucious cream of the Dunkaccino. Never again will the question of caffeine’s side effects pass through our heads. On one hand, it saddens me that Dunkin’ Donuts tricked me so. Yet, on the other hand, now my bile will taste like a Dunkaccino for the rest of my life. Probably.

22 Comments leave one →
  1. March 19, 2009 10:21 PM

    Ha ha. Nice! The diabetes drawback will really only seriously bite you if…
    a) You lose a leg and can’t walk to Dunkin’
    b) You go blind and can’t find you way to Dunkin’
    c) You lose a leg and go blind and can’t walk or find your way to Dunkin’

    • David permalink*
      March 19, 2009 11:13 PM

      I didn’t even think of such! Ahh! The horror!!

  2. Sue permalink
    August 25, 2010 8:27 PM

    How can a cappuccino not have caffeine, though it is made or is supposed to be made with espresso? And how does chocolate NOT have caffeine? I think it has to have caffeine. It’s just not plausible.

    • Rhonda permalink
      December 9, 2010 12:54 AM

      I agree there is definitely caffeine. If you read the ingredients it has instant coffee in it. I am allergic to caffeine and because of the chilly weather was craving one of those awesome duncachino’s…. and I am paying for it now. Severe headache and nausea… believe me there is caffeine!! I so wish it didn’t have it…. they are soooo good.

    • LeeLee permalink
      March 23, 2012 12:04 AM

      I agree with you Sue! even if in small amounts.

  3. john permalink
    January 14, 2011 2:48 PM

    There is caffeine in the dunkachino the guy at DD confirms that there is caffeine how much I don’t know

  4. Amy permalink
    April 23, 2011 2:17 PM

    Hah. As I’m sure we all know, “DD” employees are among the MOST intelligent people in world. I don’t blame you for instantly believing what “LEX-ee” told you; she’s obviously very wise. And based on her job, well-educated. :-P

    • December 4, 2013 10:53 AM

      Wow, I didn’t realize that just because someone works at DD, it means they are uneducated. Especially since there are just so many jobs to be had out there these days.

  5. Amber permalink
    November 13, 2011 4:14 PM

    Haha! This is so witty! What good writing, and very informative! Thanks!

  6. Michelle permalink
    June 28, 2012 9:17 AM

    Yes, there most certainly is caffine in a DD.

  7. September 16, 2012 4:09 PM

    Yes, here I am years later responding to a post that, though witty and entertaining, deceived me in my search for the Ultimate question when browsing junk mail, “What?!? is a Dunkaccino?” Shame shame.

    The Dunkaccino(or Mocha to the rest of the world) DOES contain caffeine. Though only about 2/3 the amount of a regular `ol cuppa joe.

    By size: Small: 73mg/ Medium: 106mg/ Large: 157mg/ X-large: 162mg.

    Though why anyone would want to drink the crap they call coffee from Double D is beyond me; To each their own.

  8. HellBlackNight permalink
    November 19, 2013 11:35 AM

    I just love it when people do the proper research. Moron! Dunkaccino DOES contain caffeine. Good hit, Jaime.

  9. alyssa permalink
    December 7, 2013 1:28 PM

    sorry but there is definitely caffeine in a dunkaccino. Around 73 mg for a sm

  10. Brandon permalink
    December 12, 2013 3:51 PM

    This isn’t true!

    Hot chocolate itself has caffeine so why wouldn’t this, especially when it’s mixed with coffee.
    I checked the Dunkin Donuts caffeine chart and it did say there is caffeine in the dunkaccino. A little less then a cup of coffee.

    Never trust a hipster with gauges

  11. Sadjada Garraway permalink
    February 27, 2014 12:01 AM

    The funniest yet most truthful review I’ve ever read in my life!!!

  12. Annette permalink
    October 2, 2014 12:57 PM

    There isn’t any caffeine in Dunkacinos people, google ingredients like I did and you will see!

    • Anon E. Mouse permalink
      January 12, 2015 5:23 PM

      Caffeine is present in the coffee, not listed as an added ingredient.

  13. January 23, 2015 3:30 PM

    Fun fact, the only person dumber than Lexis is you. A medium dunkaccino has 106mg of caffeine

  14. josh permalink
    February 17, 2015 2:57 PM

    This shows that not only do dunkaccino have caffeine, but a significant amount:

  15. March 7, 2015 3:02 AM

    Once I heard the blatant lie about no caffeine in a Dunkaccino, I realized there’s probably little truth in my AAA card getting me a Dunkin’ Donuts discount either.

  16. Joshua permalink
    October 6, 2015 2:44 PM

    Do you think chocolate had no caffeine. Because our most certainly does.

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