Important Life Lesson #1: The Dunkaccino Has No Caffeine
There’s this amazing thing called the Dunkaccino, and you can only get it at Dunkin’ Donuts (now to be referred to as DD as a clever acronym to expedite the creation of this post.) Now, Sue and I have been attempting to turn DD into the new trendy hot spot for months–especially because of the 10% off if you have a AAA card deal.
So for $1.34 or something you can get a small Dunkaccino. There’s always the awkward moment at the cash register when Lexis (pronounced LEX-ee) (she’s our favorite) (she has gauges) asks if what size you want. The thing is that DD has cleverly manipulated the Dunkaccino prices so that you can get a small for $1.34 or a medium for $1.67. The price increase is so minuscule… yet the size increase is so worth it.
My main concern over the recent days about purchasing a medium Dunkaccino was that there would be too much caffeine. Since I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier in a vain attempt to attend college without bags under my eyes, I figure eight shots of the most cappuccino-y cappuccino would not exactly be helpful. Now, let’s face it. What do you think about when you think about a Dunkaccino? Dunkin’ Donuts. Cappuccino. Very good. The Dunkaccino is actually a blend of hot chocolate and cappuccino to form the most delicious substance known to man.
Yet, today, Lexis revealed that the Dunkaccino has no caffeine. None. It is the ultimate false cognate of false cognates. It is the pseudo-synonym. It is the deceiver. The enigma.
But now we can consume it as much as we want. We will only consider Diabetes as a drawback when digesting the lucious cream of the Dunkaccino. Never again will the question of caffeine’s side effects pass through our heads. On one hand, it saddens me that Dunkin’ Donuts tricked me so. Yet, on the other hand, now my bile will taste like a Dunkaccino for the rest of my life. Probably.